The Pursuit of Sluttiness

Does the title sound weird already?

I am all about the weird stuff in life and by the name of my blog, you’ll already be aware on how much of a tosser I am.

In my life I have dated several American girls, from crazy Californians to NYC ladies, passing by mental Massachusetts and of course the wild Texas…I have never really questioned myself on the why and the how I was so keen on the creatures from across the pond… Until yesterday.

So yesterday I was seing an American gal at 9:30pm, and instead of going to my regular bar, I decided to walk riverside, bottle of wine in my bag with 2 glasses. I carefully made myself ready :

• bought the bottle of red wine
• nicked two glass from a pub (sorry lads – it was for a good cause)
• told my partner in crime for the night to dress warm and get some decent walking shoes.

So the evening went as smoothly as I had planned it to be, and when we reached a bench in front of the highly illuminated abbey of Westminster, I stopped and put my bag down. She asked me what I was doing, and I just pulled the 2 glass carefully wrapped in a ski socks and the bottle of wine and started to pour.

I could see on her face that she was truly impressed, happy (and a bit stunned) by my trick. It was then obvious to me that no one had ever pulled such a stunt on her, sure enough yeah I was hoping a great result, but I thought the way she reacted was almost overly enthusiastic.

We were talking it through and she kept on telling me I was sweet and caring every single minute for any random thing I would do and, I was slightly confused? I was just behaving like a normal person with manners…

I then thought to myself that most of the time this is how an American woman would usually react when I bring them somewhere for a date.

Especially since I tend to try hard, for the sake of originality all the time, they always show the full spectrum of OTT reactions. So we continued talking and got onto the subject of previous relations.

I mentioned in a bold statement that :

• I love american women

and she then asked me in a a bold way

• why in the hell?

And she’s damn right, why the hell would I?

I am European, we have Italia, Sweden, France, Germany, Lithuania… countries filled with beautiful women, with great education and fashion sense…

Why the hell would I always fall for the ones across the pond? Getting a visa for the US territory is like taking a run around a no man’s land with my pants down to my ankles.

And the possibility for me to engage in a relationship with them would be likely to fail since my abilities to join them is low.

So why? Well I’ve thought about it and I can clearly picture what I like about American lasses… I’m getting to that part, hold on you curious bugger!

I think some more context is necessary. So I am from Europe, packaged and parcelled straight out of the French education system.

But let’s not speak about education, 5 years of school sacked me. I have grown up in Southern France, almost a different planet to where I am now. It is obviously needless to say that anyone who speaks anything that isn’t french, italian or spanish will sounds exotic to my little ears.

When I moved to England, I barely spoke the language and every english speaker sounded the same to me.

Let’s add the fact that I also had a girlfriend back in those days, so I didn’t exactly try my hand at the English way of dating. In 2014… I told my GF that I was a free bird, a bird she couldn’t change (in case you haven’t got it I dumped her and I was quoting Lynyrd Skynyrd).

My English had gotten way better since I arrived, and I could now make out the difference between what women were saying, and what they really wanted. I became anything but monogamous and had the opportunity to understand different mentalities from different countries.

I am going to generalize and you will probably call me a douchebag for what I’m about to say, but one of my traits is that I don’t really give a shit if people don’t think highly of me…

Basically European women are very sophisticated, and a little judgemental at times.They know their powers on men and clearly apply it. Us men, we just suffer from their authority and are stupid enough to think women have the passive role in the seduction process.

No no, we really do think that’s the case. Stupid, right?

Few days ago I was kind of seing a British lady that basically has the full control on our semi-kindof-sortof-almost-somehow relationship where we go for a drink, she don’t spend a penny, let me do all the chatting and stuff and would play hard to get and also impose a time limit: “tonight I can’t stay long”, “I am so busy”, “i’m not free this week” etc etc.

Seeing her is about the chase, and when we agree a date she would say “ I possibly see you on [insert date here]”… Not ruling out the possibility of standing me up last minute.

Us European men, we are quite simple:

We enjoy a cold beer, a good conversation, and good sex. That’s probably what most of us are seeking, anyway.

We can also be a bit old-school from time to time since our parents and grandparents planted the old gallantry seed in our brains from a young age, and told us how important it is to apply measured behaviour on the ladies.

Sadly, not of all of us got properly educated, (we have a few of those wife beater cunts in Europe too). But mostly, gallant is what we are,maybe a bit naive too.

Now genuinely let’s put it right down. Most American boys from my age range (18-25) are genuinely douchebags, they join fraternities, they go out with the bros, they bang girls that are absolutely wasted in their Fratparties and then boast about it the next morning …

It appears that slut shaming seems to be a big thing in America, I’ve heard countless stories of women’s pictures shared on group chats. But I also have American friends, ad while I enjoy their company, they know what I think of their way of treating women. They make fun of me saying that I am being a “ French suave bastard”.

It really would seem that American lads have a totally different approach on women than we do. Most of my mates from across the pond would get pretty annoyed if they buy a girl a drink at the club, only for her to say that she’s not looking for anything sexual. They are very proud creatures when they shag a lass, everybody in the squad knows about it… In details.

Credits : Lele Pons & co

They don’t really approach women naturally, most of the time it consist in getting wasted in a club and try hard to hit on some drunk birds. Then, they’re very protective of their “prey”.

Okay I have been beating around the bush long enough it is time for me to spill the secret, and reveal exactly why on earth I would adore the American ladies so much.

American ladies really do have the full paint set of emotions with the brushes, oil paint, canvas. While men over there still seem to be too busy messing with their colouring crayons.

It is needless to say that the American girl’s enthusiasm is a little exhausting: the “oh my god!!” there, “This is so A-MA-ZING” over here. And don’t forget the classic “I am so obsessed with..”.

But I personally find it funny! I am more dog than cat, and I’d choose an overly enthusiastic yank over a cold & heartless European lady.

On that note, it would seem that any little attentions count for the American girl. From stealing a flower to a royal monument, or even something simpler like a rose you bought from that Romanian lady who sells them for £2 in the street (and/or £10 at the exit of a club… vicious rip off) Take her out visiting the town, bring her to a pub to get a pint!

She’d still be happy as long as things are keeping a zest of originality. They are upbeat and optimistic: Us Europeans are fucking miserable,we complain all the time, politics, our bosses, the weather, the pollution, the conservatives (well, not me)and we are always raging for one reason or another.

American see the world with rose-tinted glasses, where teletubbies are walking around and a baby’s face lives in the sun.

No shit, they are always so positive and I feel like if their entusiasm is contagious. What’s more, they do understand sarcasm!

American women are all about irony and black humour. they are probably the only ladies that get my humour and will never get offended. ( well may exceptions applies )

Maybe I am puting my adoration for the USA itself on women and think that is why they are so great because they are part of the world I dream to be part of someday.

Since American chaps tend to just go for the kill it seems that the ladies learn how to finds way to make sex more enjoyable by getting more involved.

On the other end of the spectrum is the, european lady who tends to be a little bit more passive in that category. American lasses are not afraid to take initiative and are so much more into it than their european equivalents.

To me, their accents are just amazing! It’s funny that every single time I tell a british lady that I fancy the american accent they look at me with a sassy eye roll like, “I hate the way american sounds”.

I don’t know why, but fuck’em! I love Americans!!!!!!

Now let’s get rid of the clichés that have been affecting the poor american ladies for an eternity… Gossip that spreads among the european girls. Let’s be honest:

NO, American ladies are not fat. Americans are probably more natural than most european women, while you lasses drown your skin under foundation and eye liner, wear high heels and tight pants to put your assets in valor, american women tend to show up to a date in a much more natural fashion than a lady from the old continent would…

Yeah sure you gals dress way better than them, you’re more sophisticated blablabla… But whatever…

NO NO American birds aren’t dumb. In fact they are just as I said, over enthusiastic and over the top. In terms of history they get few facts wrong, since history lesson in america are very subjective toward the glory of the great US of A. It’s just like a french man called Napoleon said, “History is some true fact that has been agreed upon by a definite amount of persons”. So you can’t blame them to think they saved the world in ww2.

The only thing that I find hard with the American population is that eventually, apart from when they’re in a club, when then it is pretty much NO LIMIT, when it comes to a normal date, they tend to be very silly with public display of affection, which make it very hard to actually build any kind of sexual tension. I’d like to tell them that, European people don’t give a flying fuck about PDA and if you kiss a girl in the street I don’t think anyone will takes offence… apart from Sharia police in North east London that may try to assault you, but they’re loosy fighters, and from what I have encountered, they don’t represent any form of legal authority neither risk, unless you fight like a little girl